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Limbo the bimbo

I was sitting at my desk late last night holding Doc while watching videos. He was on my shoulder and turned so he could also watch my screen. I looked at him, tired and slightly swaying in my arm, and leaned in to tell him, “You look drunk”. Glued to the video we were watching, he picked up his arm and punched me right in the eye. Hard! It was so perfectly timed I laughed in surprise. He immediately spun his face around and gave me the dirtiest look. I swear, he may only be six months old but, sometimes, I’d swear he understands exactly what I say and do. 4YO, as smart as she is, can be a complete goofball. I was feeding the fish this morning when I sneezed. She spun around and yelled at me, “WHAT’S GOTTEN IN TO YOU??” and left me speechless for a moment. I dunno, dust? Allergies? Maybe it scared her. Who knows.

A few weeks ago (within the last couple months?) I asked Bear, 4YO’s dad, why they didn’t help out much around the house with dishes, household laundry, picking up, … He thought a moment and said they didn’t have to, that I was here. Think I’ve washed dishes twice since then. It struck a nerve pretty hardcore! That said, Britt, 4YO’s mom, has really stepped up and washes dishes several nights a week now. How cool is that? I need to get back to doing chores when they need to be done instead of this hit-and-miss thing I’ve been doing. Mike went back to work in September after being out for over a year and I’m still struggling to find ‘normal’ again. I know it’s there but everything feels like a great big bowl of limbo. I detest that feeling!

Speaking of limbo, oof. We’re selling our house to Bear and Britt. The bank sent an appraiser out to look at the house and property and, whoo_boy, there are things we have to fix before we can sell it to them. The front porch has exposed wood and some of it’s bad wood. This we knew and had planned to replace because it really does need it. When talking to Bear about the porch he said not to worry, that he’d take care of it when he could. The bank says NO. The concrete steps to the porch need work also. One of them is crumbling on the side (and by crumbling I mean the part where it meets the wall of the ‘stoop’ has crumbled away so much you could stick a garden trowel into it easily. When we planned to replace the porch we were going to extend the porch over where the steps are and build new ones. Bank says to fix them. All of this makes perfect sense to me.

The small garage has to be scraped and painted. That one surprised me. The big shock, however, was the big building. When we bought the place people came by just to tell us that building wasn’t built with enough supports for the roof (IIRC) and said it wouldn’t last another year, to not put vehicles or storage items in it. That was over 11 years ago. We even had a tornado come through and it’s still standing. The fact that it’s still there surprises us, too! We’ve been wanting to replace it ever since we bought the house but, money. It takes more than we could spare so it’s still there. I wrote that building off years ago because it wasn’t in our long-term plans. We knew we wanted it replaced before Mike retired but it wasn’t until a year ago that we started giving it more thought in terms of, ‘do we want to keep a building there or move the replacement elsewhere on the property’ kind of thought. The bank wants the big building torn down.

Torn-freaking-down.

That sucks. It’s November and not the most ideal weather for painting, but to tear that building down now? Ho_lee smokes! Bear’s going to talk to the bank and see if they’ll give him extended time to take care of the building and go ahead with the loan. If not he’s hoping switching from a FHA (?) loan to a conventional will do the trick.  I do not understand the difference in these types of loans but I hope this works as long as it doesn’t put Bear and Britt through too much trouble.

The house we were wanting to buy, the one I had my heart set on, is pending sale. It wasn’t my dream house but it had so much to love. A fireplace in a cozy living room. Two bathrooms. Double recessed ovens with a cook top. Glass fronted cabinets with recessed lighting INSIDE in the kitchen. Enough bedrooms so Mike and I could have one of OUR OWN! It’s been over three years since we’ve had our own room!!! Two acres for Mike to putter around on, something he adores more than anything. Dude loves to be out in the yard! Closets! Every single bedroom has a nice sized closet! Tons of built-in storage through-out the house. An enclosed all-weather porch with a big deck out front. A balcony on the second floor out back. A basement for more than just heavy appliances and storage. We wanted to put my consoles, a TV and couch in one of the rooms in the basement. Oh, it was such a sweet house and not too far from where we are now.

Seeing the house was pending sale felt like a gut-punch. Oh wells, on to bigger and better, right? Hopefully this house will be in Bear and Britt’s name soon and we can start working on getting a new one. I really don’t like this limbo feeling at all. I want normal again and I want it fast. We’re getting there, I just need a bit more patience.

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Coffee Chat: Baby Doc looks healthy!

Babygirl had an ultrasound done in December and they found her baby, Doc, had enlarged kidneys and white spots in or on his heart. Her doctor sent her to see a fetal medicine specialist and ordered a 3-D ultrasound so they could get a better look at what’s going on. She had the 3-D ultrasound this week and the results were great!

The specialist said Doc’s kidneys are fine, that most likely he was in the process of needing to pee when the December ultrasound was done. They’re normal sized now so there’s nothing to worry about there. As for his heart, there are no holes and it looks normal and healthy. Huge relief! Goose, Doc’s father, has Marfan’s Syndrome so the specialist took measurements of Doc’s bones, to get an idea as to whether he also has Marfan’s. There’s a 50/50 chance but they don’t think so. It’s hard to diagnose in the womb but there are signs, such as certain bones being longer than normal, which can point towards a possibility.

It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I won’t lie. I want Doc to be a healthy happy baby and I really don’t want Babygirl to go through the hellish worrying you do when your pregnancy is considered high-risk. I had preeclampsia with all three of mine, Babygirl’s pregnancy being the most severe. The worry when they tell you something’s wrong or you won’t carry the baby full term, it’s intense, so heavy. She came home with a beaming smile on her face after meeting with the specialist, the kind of smile you feel when you see it. Made my day!

Doc is due in April and, right now, that feels forever away. Will be here before we know it though I’m sure.  Now we can focus more on what they’ll need when Doc is born and help get everything prepared. They’ve been promised a crib from family but that was a few months ago and we haven’t seen it yet. Not ruling it out but I think we need to prepare to take care of that just incase. A big chunk of Babygirl’s Christmas was baby stuff (her request) but it’s just a drop in the bucket compared to what she’ll need.

Need to talk to Squealer, her best friend, and see about a baby shower.

Lot to do but there’s still plenty of time to get it done.

We had a wonderfully warm Christmas

Christmas this year has been a crazy weave of ups and downs, culminating into a marvelously wonderful day! A month ago I was in a bit of panic over the idea that we may not have a Christmas (under the tree) but things worked themselves out far better than I imagined they could have. This is the first holiday all of our kids are adults. It also marks the first one all of our kids bought gifts for everyone else. It was unexpected and I was overwhelmed at the warmth I felt watching my kids open gifts their siblings had not only picked out just for them but bought themselves. Turns out they like each other more than they let on!

I’ve thought a lot over the last few weeks about what Christmas really means to me and came to the same conclusion I always do when I ponder such … it’s my family together, enjoying each other, that makes it special. Raising kids isn’t always fun. It’s rewarding but there are times when you’re knee-deep in the trenches of misery (teenage years comes to mind!) and you wonder if everyone will make it out unscathed. It’s hit me that there is a bigger reward for making it out of your kids teenage years than just them maturing into adults.

Grandkids!

Seeing the little versions of your kids running around calling you “Grandma” makes all the tears worth it.

Grand daughter sitting in the snow

Wonderboy and Boo attempted to build a snow fort

This little girl makes all the hell her daddy gave me fade into distant memories. When she laughs I remember his laugh when he was this little. When she entertains us with animated stories from the top of her head I remember his dramatic little retellings of this and that. I still remember the trying times with him but now I can chuckle when I pass them on, as warnings, to her parents. She looks just like him and not a day goes by that she doesn’t do something to pull another memory from my heart.

Grandbaby number three, Doc, will be here in a few months. I can’t wait to meet him and see what his personality is like. His mama, Babygirl, cried hard the first two months of her life. (She was very allergic to her milk!) He should be crawling by Christmas, IF he crawls. None of mine ever did. I already know what I want to get him, too! Plan early, no?

Christmas morning started when Boo climbed in bed with me. Mike cooks Christmas breakfast every year and was already downstairs so it was just the two of us. I told her, after a quick snuggle, that we should go downstairs and see what Santa left. She was under my electric blanket with me, wrapped my arm around her and said we had to cuddle more first.

So we did!

I hope you and yours had a great Christmas as well!