I was sitting at my desk late last night holding Doc while watching videos. He was on my shoulder and turned so he could also watch my screen. I looked at him, tired and slightly swaying in my arm, and leaned in to tell him, “You look drunk”. Glued to the video we were watching, he picked up his arm and punched me right in the eye. Hard! It was so perfectly timed I laughed in surprise. He immediately spun his face around and gave me the dirtiest look. I swear, he may only be six months old but, sometimes, I’d swear he understands exactly what I say and do. 4YO, as smart as she is, can be a complete goofball. I was feeding the fish this morning when I sneezed. She spun around and yelled at me, “WHAT’S GOTTEN IN TO YOU??” and left me speechless for a moment. I dunno, dust? Allergies? Maybe it scared her. Who knows.
A few weeks ago (within the last couple months?) I asked Bear, 4YO’s dad, why they didn’t help out much around the house with dishes, household laundry, picking up, … He thought a moment and said they didn’t have to, that I was here. Think I’ve washed dishes twice since then. It struck a nerve pretty hardcore! That said, Britt, 4YO’s mom, has really stepped up and washes dishes several nights a week now. How cool is that? I need to get back to doing chores when they need to be done instead of this hit-and-miss thing I’ve been doing. Mike went back to work in September after being out for over a year and I’m still struggling to find ‘normal’ again. I know it’s there but everything feels like a great big bowl of limbo. I detest that feeling!
Speaking of limbo, oof. We’re selling our house to Bear and Britt. The bank sent an appraiser out to look at the house and property and, whoo_boy, there are things we have to fix before we can sell it to them. The front porch has exposed wood and some of it’s bad wood. This we knew and had planned to replace because it really does need it. When talking to Bear about the porch he said not to worry, that he’d take care of it when he could. The bank says NO. The concrete steps to the porch need work also. One of them is crumbling on the side (and by crumbling I mean the part where it meets the wall of the ‘stoop’ has crumbled away so much you could stick a garden trowel into it easily. When we planned to replace the porch we were going to extend the porch over where the steps are and build new ones. Bank says to fix them. All of this makes perfect sense to me.
The small garage has to be scraped and painted. That one surprised me. The big shock, however, was the big building. When we bought the place people came by just to tell us that building wasn’t built with enough supports for the roof (IIRC) and said it wouldn’t last another year, to not put vehicles or storage items in it. That was over 11 years ago. We even had a tornado come through and it’s still standing. The fact that it’s still there surprises us, too! We’ve been wanting to replace it ever since we bought the house but, money. It takes more than we could spare so it’s still there. I wrote that building off years ago because it wasn’t in our long-term plans. We knew we wanted it replaced before Mike retired but it wasn’t until a year ago that we started giving it more thought in terms of, ‘do we want to keep a building there or move the replacement elsewhere on the property’ kind of thought. The bank wants the big building torn down.
That sucks. It’s November and not the most ideal weather for painting, but to tear that building down now? Ho_lee smokes! Bear’s going to talk to the bank and see if they’ll give him extended time to take care of the building and go ahead with the loan. If not he’s hoping switching from a FHA (?) loan to a conventional will do the trick. I do not understand the difference in these types of loans but I hope this works as long as it doesn’t put Bear and Britt through too much trouble.
The house we were wanting to buy, the one I had my heart set on, is pending sale. It wasn’t my dream house but it had so much to love. A fireplace in a cozy living room. Two bathrooms. Double recessed ovens with a cook top. Glass fronted cabinets with recessed lighting INSIDE in the kitchen. Enough bedrooms so Mike and I could have one of OUR OWN! It’s been over three years since we’ve had our own room!!! Two acres for Mike to putter around on, something he adores more than anything. Dude loves to be out in the yard! Closets! Every single bedroom has a nice sized closet! Tons of built-in storage through-out the house. An enclosed all-weather porch with a big deck out front. A balcony on the second floor out back. A basement for more than just heavy appliances and storage. We wanted to put my consoles, a TV and couch in one of the rooms in the basement. Oh, it was such a sweet house and not too far from where we are now.
Seeing the house was pending sale felt like a gut-punch. Oh wells, on to bigger and better, right? Hopefully this house will be in Bear and Britt’s name soon and we can start working on getting a new one. I really don’t like this limbo feeling at all. I want normal again and I want it fast. We’re getting there, I just need a bit more patience.
This year Boo’s been after me, a LOT, to stop and take her picture. She sets up the idea for the picture, telling me she’s going to be funny or smile or play goofy, poses, and then snaps for me to take her picture. Sometimes she demands that I follow her around and take pictures of her doing various things as she does them.
She either thinks I’m her own private photographer or her personal paparazzi. Not sure which. She’s funny! But … sometimes … it’s a hassle. Like, when I’m trying to cook or clean or write up a blog post. Still, I’ll stop and take her picture whenever possible because I
hope know this phase won’t last forever. Remember most of mine wanting their pictures taken right up until puberty hit.
Monday morning Boo and I spent a good forty minutes in bed singing “You Are my Sunshine” and “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”, per her request, before getting up for the day. I’m not sure what spurred her wish to hear her groggy Grandma sing but I thought it was sweet. At first, anyway.
I sometimes think she just likes to control things.
You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine,
you make me happy.
when skies are gray, “The skies are BLUE, Grandma!”
you’ll never know dear, “Yes I do.”
how much I love you, “I love YOU so much!”
please don’t take my sunshine away “Grandma, the skies are really blue.“
Her commentary is in the quotes and she interspersed with me singing, repeating these ‘lines’ verbatim, a good five or six times through. What made me chuckle was that we’re both so bull-headed neither of us missed a beat. Or felt upset with the other. It’s one of those things we do, friendly debating I suppose you could say.
When one or both of us is mad, though, we argue. She demands it more so than I do, but even if I refuse to argue back she’ll follow me around the house barking objections my way. One of my Christmas presents was to “She who must be obeyed”. That fits Boo just as well as it fits me.
Monday Mike cleaned the bookcases in our office and found an old set of temporary tattoos Babygirl bought years ago. I handed them to her and she grabbed Boo and ‘went to work’. That little frog on Boo’s forehead made her so extremely happy you could feel it. She felt like a million bucks!
She was also sporting a patriotic butterfly on one arm and a fish and tiger on the other.
This sounds silly but I’ve been asking myself today what simple things make me happy. I’m not really sure right now (which is why this is silly!) and it’s bugging me. Listening to Boo’s laugh when she’s lost in a fit of excited giggles makes me happy. Seeing my kids ’round the table playing board games makes me happy. Watching my family enjoy a meal I’ve prepared makes me very happy! Sometimes a good cup of coffee does the trick and others, being able to lose myself in a video game puts a huge smile on my face.
There ARE things that make me happy, lots of things, but it’s not the same as Boo was with that frog on her forehead. Maybe it’s the innocence of kids versus the jadedness of adults that makes the difference. It’s hard not to look at everything around us with some sort of bias! A few years ago I was out in our garden standing under the sun flowers. I looked at them with, not sure how you’d say this, but with fresh eyes and they hit me to my happy place immediately!
That’s what I’m looking for this year, the simple little things that make me happy. I think it’s easy to overlook them or take them for granted and I wonder how much I’m missing because of that. Life moves far too fast not to take notice more often!
Here’s to simple happy in 2016!