Confession: I love my cats, but, I’m not a cat person

I’m a dog person, through and through! It’s not that I don’t like cats, they’re just different in so many ways and on SO MANY levels from dogs. Dogs crave companionship, both receiving and giving. Cats want you to feed them, clean their litter box and allow them to sit on your keyboard. Oh, and for reasons I just do not understand, they seem to revel in getting between you and your monitor and putting their butts RIGHT IN YO FACE!

Kitties, what is UP with that?

That said, I do love my cats. They are family and I think they’re cute. As long as they aren’t bringing me gifts of death and pestilence that is. Screech is back on her ‘Imma bring all the dead mice in the house and leave them in your office’ kick and I am not happy. I’ve begged and pleaded with her to stop, or to at least make sure there is someone other than just me up so the dead vermin can be removed from the house. She, however, insists on gifting me in the middle of the night. OR, after I’ve gone to bed so that when I get up I can be blessed with that frightful sight when I first wake up. Which brings me to another point, cats do not love you back the way dogs do. It’s not in their nature.

Because, people, dead mice do not equal love. I don’t care what people say about why cats bring dead animals in and leave them for their care takers. It’s. Not. Love.

And frankly, the flailing-about-completely-creeped-out dance thing I do is painful if I’m too close to the wall when I spy dead furry things on my floor. Just saying.

Babygirl ran errands for me a couple of days ago. While out she saw this poster and immediately texted me. She wants every animal she sees, always been this way.

Poster advertising a free cat and kittens

Here’s the screenshots of the texts that followed. Ignore my typos, please. Had no idea I’d be sharing these or I’d have been a bit more aware as I texted back.

Screenshots of a text conversation

Screenshot of a text conversation

Screech, the cat I rescued all those years ago, the one my neighbors swore was near death, the one I nursed back to health, lovingly, brought me two dead mice the day of this texting exchange. Can you tell I mean “No” by my responses? I mean, I thought it was clear as day. Babygirl, on the other hand, thought she should keep asking. She even brought it back up again this morning! She’s an adult (though, I’ll always refer to her as ‘Babygirl’ … especially since she’s not real fond of that term) yet she acts like a little kid sometimes. “No”, to her, often means “I’m wearing her down! Just a few more times asking and it’s mine!”

Ugh. Drives me bonkers.

And she keeps asking even though she knows the mere sight of a dead anything in my house shaves a few years off my life. She actually wants to bring another potential death bestower in my house! What gives? Dogs may poop in your dining room when they’re upset, they may eat your food when you turn your back, they may take your blanket when you’re cold, but they do NOT bring you lifeless animals. At least, mine don’t. I do not ever want to see another kitten because kittens make me go weak in the head knees and I forget they morph into cats, cats who will knock your glass of water off the table and then stare you right in the eyes, cats who will act like you’re trying to murder them when you have to give them a bath, cats who will vomit in the middle of your walkway after it’s dark in the house and then walk away. Pretty sure they award each other extra points if you’re barefoot when you find it, too.

I’m so over felines right now.

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Posted on October 22, 2015, in Blog, Family and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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