The Witcher 2: My entry was not smooth

Oh, man, where do I start? The Witcher 3 is out soon and I’ve been wanting to play the second installment before Wild Hunt releases. I decided to do so last night. Omg, people. I don’t know what I’m doing!

The tutorial didn’t wait for me to do what it’d just told me before blasting another tut screen in my face. At one point I was supposed to parry and … something. I accidentally killed the mob I was fighting and found myself stuck in the tutorial as it was waiting on me to parry the attack from the dead guy in front of me. And the riposte thing? Oh, I didn’t think that symbol would *EVER* pop. My mouse isn’t very responsive right now and I’m not sure if it’s the broken USB port it’s plugged into or if the battery is dying. The USB port works, technically, but if you unplug whatever you have plugged into it, little bits of it (*it* being *something*) fall out and onto the floor. I opted not to upgrade my tower as I really like the one I have and this port-hole came with the tower, on the front for ease of access.

So, there I am, trying to grasp the throwing of signs abilities, not understanding why I can pull my sword out but not use it and fighting with a laggy to non-responsive mouse when Grandbaby comes up to me and proceeds to blow her nose on my shirt sleeve six times. Six! After I’d washed my arm and changed my shirt I’d forgotten half of what I’d learned. Still, I forged onwards! I made it to the final battle and read the screen that explained the difficulty setting would be adjusted based on how well I did in this last bunch of fights.

Witcher2 recommended difficulty setting

Geralt died. Want to know why? Grandbaby said she had more boogers and said this AFTER I’d initiated. I was more focused on getting her to not blow her nose on me again than what poor Geralt of Rivia was doing on my screen. When he fell and the game said my difficulty setting would be on “Easy”, I won’t lie. I was a little relieved but I also felt the universe was trying to tell me I shouldn’t have started up a game at all.

I stopped long enough to get the little nose-blower to bed and went back to it. I was thinking that if I could immerse myself into the game it would start to click for me and I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed and stupid. If you’ve played, do you remember that first scene from the morning of that fateful day? The one where Geralt is in bed with a COMPLETELY NAKED woman? Yes, that one. That’s the one that popped on the screen as soon as my daughter’s boyfriend walked into the office to talk to me.

I was embarrassed. He was shocked, shocked in the way that refused to allow him to take his eyes off my screen. I asked him to turn around or something, that it was awkward. He giggled. I wasn’t happy. I saved the game after getting through the dialogue in the tent and quit.

I need to print out a reference map for what key does what. I don’t remember which sign did what. I am just beginning to understand what a Witcher is I think. Assuming it’s along the lines of a Grey Warden only Witchers fight monsters where the Grey Wardens fight dark spawn? I never play a mage or rogue character in these games, always preferring to go for a champion or warrior type. Geralt, going from the tutorial, appears to be a mix of all three? He has a sword he can (sometimes) use, he can throw daggers, traps and bombs and also has a bit of crowd control with the sign throwing thing.

In short, color me confused.

Let’s hope my next attempt goes a bit smoother.


Posted on May 8, 2015, in Gaming and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I never got hang of the combat. It was good game but overwhelming. The naked women increase as well just in case it’s family gaming night.

    • Last night I started the prologue story and am up to Geralt having to find a way out of prison. So far combat has been with a sword and something I picked up from a jail cell (since my sword is gone).

      Thanks for the warning! I waited until everyone was in bed before playing last night just incase.

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